don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
