That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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