Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
