I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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