you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
