okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
