he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she smelled like a LAN party
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
