Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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