I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Enjoy the penises
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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