i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
