so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
