I accidentally had phone sex last night
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We got so high we made milksteak
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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