does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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