its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
