I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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