In the future we'll all be gay
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
