bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
