I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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