chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
