Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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