i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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