so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
