his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
