so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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