No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
