And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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