Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
