so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
