I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
