Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
