Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
