i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
