The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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