there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
