omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize