you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
