Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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