Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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