if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
