Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
