is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
