And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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