I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How does one acquire holy water?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
