The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
