ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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