is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
