I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We had to coat check the pizza.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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