Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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