How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
