Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
