the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
