I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
