He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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