Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
