I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
