so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
