I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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