Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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